12 Jul UK: The Killer Badgers in Iraq Aren’t Ours
12.07.07
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3 Comments
Finally, a statement by the British government about Iraq that doesn’t strain credulity:
British forces have denied rumours that they released a plague of ferocious badgers into the Iraqi city of Basra.
Word spread among the populace that UK troops had introduced strange man-eating, bear-like beasts into the area to sow panic.
But several of the creatures, caught and killed by local farmers, have been identified by experts as honey badgers.
The rumours spread because the animals had appeared near the British base at Basra airport.
UK military spokesman Major Mike Shearer said: “We can categorically state that we have not released man-eating badgers into the area.”
Do man-eating badgers qualify as WMDs?
Badgers? We don’t need no stinkin’ badgers!
Please forgive the tasteless joke in the midst of an ongoing bloodbath with bodies stacking up higher and higher on a daily basis.
More propaganda: http://www.chris-floyd.com/
Or more accurate a link.
I spent 35 years in the railroad business and have been retired for about 7.5 years. In that time, I acquired a college diploma and am now trying to pursue a master’s degree in international affairs at The Bush School at Texas A&M.
I still maintain very frequent communication with most of my railroad associates and shared this particular commentary with them. The results have been almost tragic and I am a major contributor to that outcome, to wit:
From: “William J. Neill”
Date: July 12, 2007 4:37:09 PM CDTSubject: Re: [opiniojuris] Kevin Jon Heller: UK: The Killer Badgers in Iraq Aren’t Ours
You know, Sarge, you are a closet capitalist and you’ve just outed yourself.
I can already envision the massive roundup of NAZI raccoons in the Bavarian Alps or wherever the hell they are, feeding them crystal meth on the flight of the Triangle of Death, and then unloading the little suckers to run amok (amuck?) amongst the camel jockies/martyrs/Sunnis/Shites/whatever. Just think of the lust and tears of happiness streaming down the faces of the young fraulein as we herd those little four-legged wolly buggers down Bush Strasse in Salzburg.
Given that these suckers are gonna be in a herd, do you suppose we oughta consult with the good Dr. Gamst for recommendations about handling and oversight of herded NAZI raccoons? You remember that piece from the security magazine about predicting behaviour of crowds? I don’t wanna have to kill a whole bunch of ’em just to make a point.
Given the political philosophies of these raccoons, we can probably score a government no-bid contract and obtain necessary logistical support at nominal cost from KBR.
Brother, you have come up with a plan that cannot fail. I just hope the rest of the world doesn’t consider us to be war profiteers. After all, we would be helping Germany rid itself of a terrible problem (there oughta be movie rights to some kinda B-grade movie about NAZI raccoons grazing wantonly in a women’s dorm at Berkeley) and facilitating the Iraqi govt of ridding itself of terribly un-cooperative citizens.
This has awesome potential. I know that there are at least 30 or more feral hawgs in the lowlands around the San Jacinto River, only one mile north of me, and can only fantasize about the fear and loathing of al Quaeda with man-eating pork running loose all over the place.
We’re on our way. With railroaders running this operation, we can’t fail. Just think of the intellectual power to be amassed between a switchman and a train dispatcher.
Billy Blob
On Jul 12, 2007, at 3:57 PM, William Schultz wrote:
Hey Billy-Bob,
If we can get a gummint contract to do it, let’s go over to Germany and round up all them racoons they hate so much, fly ’em over to Badgag, and dump ’em on ole Al Kayda. We’ll make a fortune and the Germans will love us. Whadda ya think? Great Idea, right?
Billy-Bubba