13 Dec Breaking News: U.S. State Department Grants Santa Claus a Visa Waiver
13.12.13
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A nice light-hearted exchange at today’s U.S. State Department media briefing, which shows some folks in government like Jen Psaki still have a sense of humor.
Reporter: “So has the U.S. already issued a visa to Santa?”
Psaki: Santa does not need a visa. He has a visa waiver in the United States. (Laughter.) So he can get to every house, and I assume that’s the case around the world as well.
Reporter: Except if he flies over China.
Aren’t they doing an eye scan? What phone does he carry?
Santa Detained at Guantanamo byline: Jordan Paust Santa has been detained at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba as a person who poses a potential threat to national security. In commenting on the detention, a White House “official” admitted that Santa does not presently threaten national security but stressed nonetheless that Santa: 1. hides his face with a beard 2. wears red (an ominous form of coloring under prior U.K. antiterrorism laws) 3. has a male’s first name ending with an “a” that sounds “foreign” 4. flies into and out of the U.S. without going through airport security checks or immigration controls and flies outside air traffic routes without filing any sort of flight plan 5. brings items of value into the U.S. in a large sack in violation of U.S. customs laws 6. has been alleged (in unsworn statements) to have traveled yearly within countries such as Cuba, Iran, and even North Korea and, thus, has “known links” with such countries and various types of persons therein 7. surreptitiously enters buildings through chimneys 8. as indicated by home searches here and abroad, he transferred items of value to opposition leaders in several countries, which the leaders do not declare for tax or… Read more »
I like this news 🙂