Colonel Sanders at the United Nations

by Roger Alford

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With the kerfuffle over the White House gate-crashing gaining all the attention, another flap over gate crashing is flying below the radar. It appears that Colonel Sanders of Kentucky Fried Chicken fame returned from the dead to meet with Ali Treki, President of the United Nations General Assembly. As reported here:

A spokeswoman for Ban Ki-moon, the UN secretary-general, yesterday said that an investigation had been launched into the security breach, which was dreamed up by KFC as a promotional stunt. “It should not have happened – that I will stress, and very strongly,” Michele Montas told Canwest News Service, the Canadian news agency. “There was some lapse in security and the individual in question was, on the initiative of one security guard, taken into the UN.”

The United States introduced a resolution before the Security Council to sanction KFC for action that threatened international peace and security, but the resolution was blocked by the French ambassador Gérard Araud.

A KFC spokesman stated that the company had no idea how Colonel Sanders was able to return from the dead or why he chose to visit the United Nations, given that everybody who was anybody was at the Indian State Dinner in Washington.

Colonel Sanders insisted that he did not crash the United Nations. “I was invited, not crashed. There isn’t anyone that would have the audacity to return from the dead and try to crash the United Nations. I think the public is going to be extremely surprised when the details come out.”

4 Responses

  1. What kind of UN sanction for KFC were they considering?

    Making them turn over their original recipe spices?

  2. One cannot but wonder why the United States introduced a resolution before the United Nations security council to sanction KFC for actions which it termed threatening international peace and security.
    The security council is in no doubt one of the principal organs of the United Nations charged with the maintenance of international peace and security, establishment of peace keeping operations, the estabilshment of international sanctions and the authorization of military action. There are three types of sanctions, namely, Diplomatic sanctions- the reduction or removal of diplomatics ties. Economic sanctions- the ban on trade. Military sanctions- military intervention.
    The question is, which one of these, might the security council have implored had France not in its wisdom vetoed the resolution?
    Well known United Nations sanctions includes but not limited to the UN sanctions against Iraq (1990- 2003), UN sanction against South Africa in protest against the apartheid regime (1961). Such were, and still is, the importance and gravity of the issues the United Nations Security Council delved into and should still delve into.
    This is not to say that the purported act by KFC should not be condemned and punished if found wanting, but for the US to introduce a resolution before the UN security council to sanction KFC, is tantamount to killing a bird with a rocket.

  3. Ummm… It’s a joke.

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