The Political Ad I’d Like to See

The blogosphere is abuzz about the Republicans’ latest attempt at fearmongering, an homage to LBJ’s classic “Daisy” advertisement. Here’s how CNN describes the ad, which is entitled “The Stakes”:

The ad features al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden and his top lieutenant, Ayman al-Zawahiri, speaking, but the only sound is a ticking clock in the background. The terror leaders’ quotes are posted on the screen and key phrases in the quotes stand alone as the rest of the quote fades out.

In one instance, bin Laden is quoted as saying, “With God’s permission we call on everyone who believes in God … to comply with His will to kill the Americans.” As the text of the quote fades out, “kill the Americans” remains on the screen.

Another bin Laden quote: “They will not come to their senses unless the attacks fall on their heads and … until the battle has moved inside America” — fades out, leaving only “inside America” on the screen.

Meanwhile, footage of terrorists engaged in martial arts and weapons training rolls in the background. One scene shows terrorists traversing monkey bars over fire.

The ticking clock morphs into a heartbeat as the ad comes to a close, and the only spoken words on the commercial announce, “The Republican National Committee is responsible for the content of this advertising.”

Fortunately, the American public has begun to figure out that the Bush administration has done little to make the U.S. more secure from terrorism — and much to make the threat of terrorism worse. In the hope of hastening that process, I offer my own version of “The Stakes”:

We OPEN on bin Laden speaking. The subtitles read: “They will not come to their senses unless the attacks fall on their heads and … until the battle has moved inside America.” A stopwatch in the b.g. is at ELEVEN.

The stopwatchs clicks to TEN…

Bin Laden FADES OUT. Video of Bush ignoring a Presidential Daily Brief entitled “Bin Laden Determined to Strike in the U.S.” FADES IN.

…NINE…

Bush continues to read “The Pet Goat” to schoolchildren after Andrew Card tells him “America is under attack.”

…EIGHT…

Bush cuts nearly two-thirds from an emergency FBI request for counterterrorism funds.

…SEVEN…

Bush lets bin Laden escape at Tora Bora.

…SIX…

Bush responds to his failure to capture bin Laden by saying: “So I don’t know where he is. You know, I just don’t spend that much time on him… to be honest with you. I’ll repeat what I said. I truly am not that concerned about him.”

…FIVE…

Bush diverts $700 million from the war against the Taliban and al-Qaida in Afghanistan to pay for the war in Iraq.

…FOUR…

Asked why his administration had been unable to locate and arrest Osama Bin Laden for three years following 9/11, Bush replies: “Because he’s hiding.”

…THREE…

Bush slashes antiterror funding for New York and DC, while increasing it for Omaha, Louisville, and Charlotte.

…TWO…

Bush disbands the CIA’s bin Laden unit.

…ONE…

Bush tells Fred Barnes that capturing bin Laden is “not a top priority use of American resources.”

As the stopwatch begins to click to ZERO, Bush FADES OUT, replaced by a simple question on a black background: “Scared Yet?”

FADE TO BLACK.