19 Jul The World According to Spam
Like you, I am good friends with millionaires living in Nigeria. If only I would renew my contact with them I could continue my business relationship and secure the millions that I am due as part of the partnership. I have been negligent in giving them my bank details to assist with the bank transfer, but for some strange reason I have lingering doubts about whether to trust them with my account information.
We all know and endure the Nigerian bank scam emails. But when I recently received an email from poor Sgt. Ferry Bakker in Iraq, I became curious about the variations on this Nigerian advance fee scam. Here are other wonderful versions from the alternative universe that is international spam. (The scams, in all their glorious variety, are available at this website.) I got a kick out of them and thought you might too. I’m sure there is an international law journal article in this somewhere, or at a minimum a Green Bag essay. These scams read like the tabloid version of international law and politics. No Elvis sightings, but plenty of people with lots of money who desperately need our help. If only we would trust them.
Poor Rich White Woman in Zimbabwe. The recent tribulation in Zimbabwe requires that I contact you. I’m a widow of a white commercial farmer from Zimbabwe. We have lost everything but we have a bank in Canada. Can you help us affect a bank transfer? The international community has failed to come to our rescue, but you can help me.
G.I. Finds Hussein’s Money! I’m a soldier serving in Iraq and three years ago we found Saddam Hussein’s money. We smuggled it out in two trunk boxes and the money is now secure in a company in Europe. I am now wanted by the U.S. military and have terminal cancer due to bomb exposure. “My watch word is to trust you.” Can you please help me?
Wealthy Banker Circumventing English Law. I am a banker and under English escheats law my client’s money is going to return to the state if it doesn’t go to the next of kin soon. But “I don’t’ belong to that school of thought which proposes that the fortunes of unlucky people be given to the government,” so I am contacting you as the next of kin.
Desperate Wife of Deposed Prince BinBolkiah of Brunei. I am the wife of Jefri Mohammad BinBolkiah former Finance Minister of Brunei. He was framed by the Government of Brunei. He deposited millions in a finance company overseas and I need a trusted business partner. “With Almighty Allah all things are possible… My dream rests squarely on your shoulders.”
Please Attend Our International Rights of The Child Conference. I am general secretariat of the YSAPC and I bring you warmest greetings. Bearing in mind that the need to extend particular care to the child has been stated in the 1924 Geneva Declaration of the Rights Of The Child, I hereby invite your organization to participate in the forthcoming conference in Senegal this July on Youth Child Prevention and Child Labour and Religious Conflict.
World Bank Diplomat Needs Your Help to Donate to Charity. I am a senior staff member at the World Bank in the special duties office. Today a friend of mine who is a diplomat disclosed to me that there is a security courier service they use to send diplomatic materials and information from one country to another. It has diplomatic immunity and consignment and cannot be checked by any customs anywhere in the world. The diplomat will help me so we do not have any problem. We have concluded that you must donate Five Hundred Thousand United States dollars (US$500,000.00) to any charity organisation I designate as soon as you receive your money. I want to help you because something in me is telling me that you are an honest person.
You’ve Won the ASEAN Lottery! It is our pleasure to inform you of the announcement today as dated of our promotions program.. Participants were selected through a computer ballot system drawn from 300,000 names of people living in the following countries: United Kingdom, America, Switzerland, Australia, Spain, New Zealand, and other parts of Europe, Middle-East, Asia, Africa and North & South America as part of our international promotions program conducted annually to encourage prospective overseas entries. As a result, you have been approved a lottery jackpot lump sum grand prize awards winning of [350, 000.00]. To begin your claims therefore, you are advised to contact our licensed and accredited claim agent for the processing of your prize awards winning and payment to your designated bank account. CONGRATULATIONS!
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