International Relations Via The Onion

Lots of breaking international news over at The Onion. As reported here, a group named the Army of Martyrs has acquired a quarter kilogram of plutonium, but then its terrorist efforts were thwarted after they discovered that not a single member of the group had the necessary physics and engineering background to construct a thermonuclear device. In addition, in this piece the nation of Snakistan reportedly has broken off relations with Fritolaysia after the latter signed a fat-free trade agreement with the Yogurtslavian nation of Colombo. Next, there is a disturbing report of the CIA’s use of black markers to conceal its activities. Finally, in this report on today in history, Sadat and Begin celebrate their 1979 Middle East peace accord at Studio 54 in New York.